I have the world’s sexiest spandex bikini and I can’t even wear it out in public. Okay, it may not be the world’s sexiest, but it is definitely the sexiest in my world; so there! But the fact that I can’t wear it out in public is what really bothers me. I want to take it out and show the world how sexy it looks and how sexy I look while wearing it. However, the people where I live wouldn’t understand that was what I was doing. Instead, they would think that I was trying to force them into some kind of pervert sexual relationship and probably end up throwing rocks at me.
I don’t have a beach to wear my men’s spandex bikini at so they wouldn’t have seen other guys wearing similar things in public. Our town is so small that we don’t even have a public pool that I could wear it to. Even if we had a tanning salon I could wear it and have an excuse to show it off to at least a couple of people, but we don’t have that, either. The best I could do is walk out into my front yard wearing my bikini and hope no one called the cops on me.
I guess I could take my spandex bikini on vacation with me some time, but I don’t get to do things like that very often. In fact it has been almost three years since I was able to go on a vacation and that wasn’t all that exciting anyway. I spent most of the time in a hotel room because it was raining the entire three days I was there. I really need to find a way of getting out there and showing the world my bikini but until I figure out how that is going to work; I just won’t be able to.